Reagan National is like a home away from home for a Senator like me. I probably fly in or out of Reagan at least a couple of times a week. So I'm a real expert. The North Pier is definitely the best part of the airport. All the South Pier has is Einstein Bros. Bagels and a terrible case of genital warts. You don't want to know. Airports are more dangerous than you think. The whole world today is so much more frightening than when I was growing up. That's part of why I became a Senator. I wanted to make the world safer for children, for business travelers, and for men who enjoy meeting strangers in the bathroom. I didn't want people to have to worry about gang violence, or herpes. When I'm at Reagan National, there's nothing I like better than enjoying Five Guys. I'm of course talking about Five Guys Burgers and Fries in the North Pier. Jiminy! Of course you knew that's what I was talking about! What else would I be talking about? Jiminy! When I'm done with Five Guys, I'm usually ready for -- what else?? -- a long trip to the bathroom. Day well spent!
LARRY'S BOTTOM LINE
"At Reagan National, I always enjoy putting Five Guys in my mouth! Delicious!"
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